Anyone know how to use jumper cables - seriously?

Saturday, Samantha and I were heading to Jenn's house for a cookout. Sam was buckled in, pjs were packed and beer/wine was in the cooler...... can't find keys in purse.....oh, I left keys in ignition all night (talk about blonde moments)....hmmmm, car doesn't start - might be due to the fact that I left the keys in the "on" position, draining the battery..... what a rookie move..... I call Jenn and ask if she has any jumper cables... she heads on over and for the next 20 minutes we try to figure out how to use them - we called Carlos (who was trying to tell us how over the phone), we read the instructions at least a 1000 times, finally my neighbor (who came home between the time I called Jenn and Jenn arriving) came stomping down the stairs saying "he couldn't handle watching anymore" and helped us start my car. I took him literally 5 seconds and it started.... Jenn said convincingly to Anthony "seriously, we would have done it eventually." THANKS ANTHONY for your help as I believe we would still be debating about the "how to". After all, it is potentially explosive to use jumper cables....